Yesterday morning, in Lenny’s Bagels:

Couple walks in, comprised of an all-American man and a fairly pretty woman, both in their mid-to-late 20s.

Man: This is the kind of place where they’ll put whatever you want on your bagel.
Woman: Mmm-hmm…
Man: They’ll put butter, cream cheese, tuna salad, cold cuts… whatever you want.
Me: (thinking to myself) What other kind of bagel places are there?
Woman: Ummm… I have to tell you now that I don’t know what a bagel is.
Me: (jaw drops onto floor)

The kicker of it all was that the woman had as Brooklyn an accent as you can get.